THAD's STORY

My journey on this road of life began on November 5^th 1968 when a beautiful young woman was faced with the most difficult of choices and placed her newborn baby up for adoption.  Knowing that she wanted this child to have the opportunity to live grow and be nurtured in a loving family environment took precedence as she made the ultimate sacrifice and placed her baby in the arms of strangers.

 I was handed into the loving arms of a mother and father along with 3 caring  sisters who gave what she wanted most for me, a family. As I grew up in Bountiful Utah I remember my mother telling me at a very young age, probably around 5 years old that I was adopted and that I was hers and that I just came to them in a different way, and that I was loved and cherished no differently than any of my sisters. I never felt otherwise and I am eternally grateful for the love, patience, opportunities and understanding that were given to me by my parents. They are, and always will be my family.

As they were always so forthcoming with me about my adoption the day came, sometime when I was in my early teens, when they told me more details about my adoption, how they were selected, what little they knew about my birth mother, that she was from California and then my parents gave me her name.  How they came across her name, as this was a closed adoption with no information about either party, was due do a clerical error when an adoption paper with Kristy’s name was accidentally added to the papers for my parents to sign.  For my entire life since then I carried the name of Kristine Kindred in my heart and thoughts.

 

About 20 years ago I felt the desire to try and search for my birth mother. I remember hearing about a website being promoted on the Oprah show called BigHugs.com which was a site to help loved ones reunite. It was the early days of the internet and the site was archaic but I entered in limited search criteria such as my name, birth date, hospital of birth and my birth mother’s name. I wondered if Kristy or any siblings she may have had after my adoption might somehow be searching for me as well, and maybe they had heard of the website too and a match would eventually show up. I would check back every couple of days, then weeks, then months and eventually gave up.

About eight or nine years ago my father unknown to me was also doing his own search. He is a family research guru as he had been doing genealogy for our family history and would occasionally search the family name of Kindred. Through his research he came across the name of Ted Kindred and found his obituary, which listed his surviving family members including his wife Iris and their four children. After some diligence he was able to get addresses and phone numbers of Kristy’s two brothers, but nothing on Kristy. He printed off the information and gave it to me one day when I was at his house. He told me what he had found and that if I were interested in pursuing finding my birth mother that I had his blessing and that it was in my hands now. After sitting on the information for months I finally gained the courage to try and call the phone numbers that were listed for Kristy’s brothers. With my heart pounding and not really sure what I was going to say, my attempt at fist contact with the Kindred family resulted in both numbers being disconnected. My heart grew heavy and I was convinced that I would never find her. 

I remember reminiscing about Kristy, and I also knew in my heart that she continued on with her life, married and had other children of whom I thought about often, wondering who they were, what they were like and if they knew about me. Although I was the youngest in my adopted family, I knew I was the oldest of the family I did not know and I often pictured them in my mind and pondered about their lives as children and adults. I loved them even though I did not know them. I wondered if they were thinking of me when I was thinking of them as I would look into the night sky.

On February 6^th of this year I drove up to my parents house to bring them lunch. Upon my arrival I noticed a small stack of papers neatly organized on the kitchen table. My father picked up the papers and said, “I have something for you.”  As I looked at the papers in his hand I saw the obituary of Iris Lynn Kindred who passed away on January 7^th in Bountiful Utah, my hometown!? My father then said, “You can take them, or if you wish I can throw them away.” I took the papers from his hand and sat down on the chair, silently and carefully looking at each paper. Along with the obituary of Iris he had printed off papers with each of her children that contained their names and addresses, which he was able to obtain from mylife.com.  Then I came across a paper whose name at the top was Kristine Adams of Nauvoo IL, and behind it was the name of Joseph Nicolich of Nauvoo IL who was listed as her husband. I now had my mother’s full married name.  Emotions poured through my body.  I talked with my parents about what just transpired for the next hour. We finished lunch, I told them thank you, that I loved them and drove home with the papers on the seat next to me.

  

 

  Immediately upon returning home I went to my computer and started searching their names on Facebook. Nothing came up on Kristy, but I found a profile page on Joe, and the pieces of the puzzle almost instantly began to fall into place.  Joe’s friends list was short and almost strictly family members and as I searched though his friends the name Kindred, Nicolich and Adams were everywhere. I found Kristy’s brothers, their children and also Joe’s children, which at the time I wondered if they were my siblings. I franticly clicked on each of them to see if any would have a mutual Facebook friend of mine listed. I then clicked on Joe’s son Bill and then on Bill’s wife Emily and saw that Emily and I had 1 mutual friend. When I read the name my eyes could hardly believe what they were seeing.  The mutual friend was a sweet girl I dated at Bountiful High School back in 1986 Heidi Chamberlin, whom I have stayed in contact with throughout all these years! How could this be possible since Emily and Bill lived in Georgia, and Heidi lived in Seattle Washington? And how could Heidi be friends with Emily and what was the connection? My mind was blown and at this point I began to realize in my heart that there was a greater power intervening.  I sent Heidi a message and this is what I wrote,

February 9th,

Hi Heidi! Hey, I have a favor I need to ask of you. Long story short, and I can fill you in on the details later. I’m not sure if you knew this about me but I was adopted. I have been trying to find my birth mother for nearly 2 decades. After a lot of research and many dead ends some new information just came to light and I have a new lead and believe it or not you are a part of that. Crazy huh! I noticed that you have a friend on FB by the name of Emily Heisterman Nicolich. Not sure how well you know her but I saw that you liked a photo that she posed up yesterday so I’m hopeful you know her. Now, its not confirmed but I believe that her husband (Bill), his mother is my birthmother. Her name is Kristine (Kristy) Kindred Nicolich. I’m not 100% sure, but the research I have done is pointing in this direction. This is a really difficult situation because I don’t know for sure if Kristy is my mother and I don’t know that if she actually is, if she ever told any of her other children that she gave a child up for adoption. I don’t want to cause any family problems, but at the same time maybe she did? I’m trying to figure out the best way to try and establish contact and maybe talking to Emily first before she talks to Bill may be the best way??? It’s a little scary and nerve wracking. I’m sure Emily has no idea that Kristy gave a child up for adoption and it most definitely is a touchy subject, but maybe she can help me out. Anyway, if you would let me know if this is something you think you might be able to help facilitate. You can even call me or email me anytime.

I hope you and your girls are doing fantastic! Best Thad

 Heidi’s reply, February 9th

Hey Thad!

Wow, that's so exciting/scary/crazy! I can't even imagine the emotional journey you have lived through in your search for your mother.
I do know Emily! In fact, we're cousins.  I haven't actually seen her in years, and I really don't know Bill. She's great though, and I can only assume she'd be super supportive and helpful in welcoming and getting to know you!

Please let me know how I can best help and what you'd like me to do. I'm available to talk/text/email or whatever tonight or tomorrow during the day.

I hope you are able to find the answers and peace you are looking for and add to your beautiful family!

Talk soon! ~Heidi

I followed up with Heidi by asking her to send an email to Emily about my search, of which she forwarded the following note for me,

February 10th,

Hello Emily, 

I recently read the obituary about the passing of your husband’s grandmother Iris Lynn Kindred. She sounds like she was an amazing wonderful and talented woman. Her obituary was passed on to me from my father. My name is Thad Robison and I was born November 5th 1968 in Payson Utah and was adopted to Jay and Ramona Robison through a woman that I believe may be your mother in law, Kristine Kindred.

I am writing to you out of respect for Kristy, your husband and your family as I do not wish to cause any emotional distress and I’m not even 100% sure if I am following the correct lead. I have been searching for information about my birth parents for quite some time, nearly 20 years, and everything is pointing in this family direction. It is a sensitive and emotional topic without a doubt.

If indeed I have found right family, I would want to express my love and gratitude to Kristy for the sacrifice she made in giving me an opportunity to grow up in a loving and supportive family. Not only am I grateful for the courage and sacrifice she had to undertake at a difficult time in her life, I have never been resentful. She placed me in the arms of a loving mother and father who raised a boy to love his family and father in heaven. I’m not sure If she would even want to know that I have reached out to you, and I still question if I have reached the right family, or if I’m doing the right thing, but if indeed I have then I would appreciate you letting me know. 

I would love to make contact with her, but it obviously this is not something I would want to force. I am also worried that Bill and Kristy’s other children (Amanda?) she raised with Joe may not even know about my adoption. The last thing I would ever want in the world is to bring a skeleton out of the closet and blind side the family.

If anything I would want to pass this on from me to her.

There has been and always will be a special place of love in my heart for her.

If Kristine does not feel comfortable with establishing contact I understand. Some of the questions I have may be able to be answered through you, for instance family medical history as I have 6 children of my own and I have never been able to answer questions regarding past family medical history.

From what I have been told about Kristy, she met my father while she was attending school in California. I have also always wondered if I had other brothers or sisters and what they are like, where they live, their lives their family’s. Do we like the same music, food, movies. So many questions. It’s scary and exciting at the same time.

I currently reside in Salt Lake City and you may contact me through my facebook page at any time or through my email. 

The irony is that I grew up and lived in Bountiful literally straight up the road on 5th south from North Canyon Care Center where Iris passed away. I’m sure Kristy was here in Utah last month for her mother’s funeral.

Thank you for your time, and if I have missed the mark and contacted the wrong family please accept my apologies. I just don’t know where to go from this point. I thought the safest thing to do would be to reach out to you.

Best wishes & regards

Thad

 Emily’s reply, February 11th

Hello Thad!  My cousin Heidi speaks very highly of you.  This is a crazy scenario, but I'd love to try to help.  First off, I should tell you that Kristy is an amazing woman who I love dearly.  She is, indeed my mother in law, but a step mother in law.  She married my husband's father roughly 12 years ago.  So my husband, Bill and his siblings didn't grow up with her, but have enjoyed a lovely relationship in their adult life.  She does have other children, all of whom are lovely people. 

Before I go to her and ask her of this possibility, I would like to know how you have tracked your line to her.  After hearing some more details, if we both still think the connection is a real possibility, I will help make introductions.  I can't imagine what emotions you must be feeling at the thought of finally finding her.  I truly wish you the best and will await your response. 

Best wishes,
Emily Nicolich

After a couple more email exchanges two days later I received a call on February 13^th which went to my voicemail, It was Kristy.  As I listened to the message I heard my mothers voice for the first time.

Oh you’re making me smile. This is Kristy Kindred Nicolich. Dear Emily gave me your phone number and I had to call. We should talk. Have a great day dear, bye.

Upon hearing the message I was overcome by insurmountable emotion. My heart nearly leapt from my chest and all I could do was cry. I called my wife Jennifer and all I could say was “ I found her!” Over and over again.  After taking some time to collect myself I called Kristy and for the next hour we spoke and cried.  I had finally found her. Many questions were asked stories told and then I asked her if I had any brothers or sisters. She said I did and that they were going to be thrilled about the news and that they were already on their own journey to help Kristy find her son and their brother. She told me their names, Lynnelle, Aaron and Heather and then she told me they all knew about me. All I could do was cry again. I asked her if she thought it would be okay for me to contact them and she said they would love to hear from you. Messages were sent and a phone call took place later that evening with my brother and sisters. Within minutes of the call I could feel a bond so strong between us it was beyond words.

What has transpired from that day can only be described as a miracle. It is as though the years that have separated us vanished.

When I try to explain to others what has just happened in my life I can only say this,

It was like I had jumped out of an airplane with a parachute on my back. I did not know if I was going to free fall for days months years or eventually hit the ground on my search, but as things were put into motion I looked to my side I saw my jump buddy and that person was God. He looked at me, gave a big smile and a thumbs up and then the parachute opened. I know I was not alone on this journey.